| | |  | Career Management Books | Home » » Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness | | | | | | | Description: | | In Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin provide an in-depth look at a topic we've all faced but haven't always recognized: Hidden anger. When people don't express their views and feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, behaving in ways that don't match what they honestly think, there can be serious physical and psychological results for everyone involved. For the first time, Murphy and Oberlin offer a clear definition of passive-aggression and show readers not only how to end the behavior, but also how to avoid falling victim to other people's hidden anger. In clear, compassionate language, they cover everything from the childhood origins of the condition to the devastating effect it has on work and personal relationships to the latest research on the subject, and offer practical, proven strategies for the angry person as well as the individual who finds himself the target of someone else's passive-aggression. | | | Product Details: | | | Author:
| Tim Murphy | | Paperback:
| 256 pages | | Publisher:
| Da Capo Press | | Publication Date:
| October 20, 2005 | | Language:
| English | | ISBN:
| 1569243611 | | Product Length:
| 8.82 inches | | Product Width:
| 6.46 inches | | Product Height:
| 0.69 inches | | Product Weight:
| 0.66 pounds | | Package Length:
| 8.98 inches | | Package Width:
| 6.06 inches | | Package Height:
| 0.71 inches | | Package Weight:
| 0.71 pounds | | Average Customer Rating:
|  based on 24 reviews |
| | | | Customer Reviews: | |
Average Customer Review:
 ( 24 customer reviews )
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 37 found the following review helpful:
 Hitting the Nail on the HeadFeb 03, 2006
By Seeker
Great book, and very readable. Anyone who has ever come away from a "sneak attack" encounter knowing they've been done in but not sure what just happened will appreciate the explanation of how to deal with hidden aggression. From school bullies to toxic relatives to smile-while-they-stab you co-workers, the book reveals what the tactics are, how hidden aggression works, and most importantly, how to effectively end the abuse. A must-read!
53 of 57 found the following review helpful:
Totally and thoroughly covers topicJan 21, 2006
By Avid Reader
"Avid Reader"
I'm not sure why "book addict" posted such a negative review because it is clear he/she hasn't read the book. First, Congressman Murphy humbly mentions his political career only in the introduction -- appropriate there for sure -- and then stays with his experience helping individuals and families as a psychologist. As for organization, I found it immensely helpful in beginning descriptions of how a passive-aggressive person becomes this way, and the authors write about the bigger picture of hidden anger. While they mention in the back of the book a list of personality disorders, that part of the material is so in the background, and the focus is wholeheartedly on passive-aggression and other types of angry concealers at work, at home, in relationships, in everyday life. Sometimes it's the self-absorbed, passive-aggressive character; other times the depressed, passive-aggressive person. This is the only book out there that clarifies this phenomenon this way. So what's the real problem with that unless it's personal or hits home?
We have ALL seen this behavior at play, and I'd posit that we're seeing it in certain posts when reviewers have not read the book. In this case, I'd stick with the professional trade publication reviews (Publishers Weekly and Library Journal) telling us more about this book than any angry reviewer with an ax to grind. If they said it examines the topic well and grasps the material -- that's the deciding vote for any prospective reader/book buyer, in my opinion!
30 of 31 found the following review helpful:
Excellent advice for mixed messages and angry remarksJan 28, 2006
By Lydia
I've read a few books about how people behave, what they say to each other, and this is by far superior to many. Though other authors get rave publicity on 20/20 and other shows, their books lack substance. I especially liked the childhood component chapter to this as it explains why people might get so angry and hold things in. Then, as the authors show in countless examples, it sneaks out and bites you. What's best, it's not geared to one gender as some books are these days so it helps everyone. I understand passive aggressive people a LOT better after reading this book and highlighting a few sections. I'm sure I'll refer to it next time I'm thrown by a difficult person.
31 of 34 found the following review helpful:
Making passive-aggression clear and interestingOct 05, 2005
By Martin Kantor
At last, a book primarily geared to telling the layperson all about passive-aggressive men and women. Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin's Overcoming Passive-Aggression helps passive-aggressives deal with their hidden anger and offers the targets of passive-aggressives ways to cope with, manage, and help out the passive-aggressives in their lives. There are sections on what creates anger; why anger has to be expressed in an unhealthy, indirect, fashion; what to do to feel less angry, or failing that how to express the anger inside in more effective and less destructive ways; and how to respond in a remedial fashion to others with their own hidden anger problems. Passive-aggressives themselves, and those who live with them on a daily basis will find this book brimming with insights and useful advice-a virtual smorgasbord of ideas that one can seize, make one's own, and put to immediate use. Scattered throughout the revealing and instructive case examples that illustrate the various scenarios of hidden anger in different contexts, discussions of core interactive processes (always sugar-coated to be comprehensible to the layman), and proffered specific remedial tactics are memorable maxims and charming asides that elicit old welcome feelings of familiarity and bring forth new eureka "so that's it" responses of recognition and pleasant surprise. By Martin Kantor, author of Passive-Aggression: A Guide for the Therapist, the Patient and the Victim
14 of 14 found the following review helpful:
Excellent for both anger hiders and those around themJul 06, 2007
By Mitchell Ashley
"stratman"
One the best self-help books I've read. This book takes both the view of people who are passive-aggressive, referred to has hidden anger, and those around them affected by these behaviors. It has really helped me both understand how to be assertive with emotions and address hidden anger in others around me. The book's philosophy is "knowledge is power" rather than taking a prescription approach. Every reader can take this knowledge and apply it in their own lives, work setting, school and with children and other family members.
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